Not to sure what to make of this...

Would you ever consider being with a man? Would going to a gay bar be something that you would be open to? I think that talking to your friend is a good idea in theory, but it might like you said freak him out. It is hard to gauge another person's reaction to someone's quest in discovering their true self, but do realize that whatever the answer is-it is beautiful and NORMAL! You are not any less of a man regardless of what you decide and finding someone that can add joy and love to your life is a wonderful thing to look forward to.

Wishing you peace in your quest of discovery!

-CK

Just as an FYI-loved those videos and cried when he called and told his Dad that he was Gay!

i'm a 56 yr old woman who has sexually been w both. I don't know if i am bi or a lesbo. if the latter then i should have known by now right? Am i reacting to a lifetime of men hitting on me and a past of molestation? Does it matter anymore since i dont have sex? isn't it about mindset and not sex? HELP !!!

If you have been with both men and women, I would guess that you are bisexual. But the ultimate way to figure that out would be by looking at your behaviors, thoughts and desires. Why do you date women and why do you date men? Those questions are hard to answer but if you can attempt to answer them, you may be able to figure yourself out.

Another thing is the fact that you have been molested in your past. That is something that you should seek a specialist about and discuss with him/her. Psychologist can often get to the root of dealing with molestation. However, you could have a liking for women just because you like them. That is something you need to work your way through.

I have a theory that all straight people are at least a little bit bi-curious. I sure am. I think I always have been and I can remember being in your position - dating girls but not going all the way, and wondering whether I was more interested in my best mates.

I think that was quite normal for a younger man with hormones raging through me. I am now married (happily) and have been for 13 years. I still am bi-curious and find myself stimulated by gay porn, but I don't think I would ever try anything with another guy even if it might be a fantasy. Perhaps I should have before I married, and perhaps I would if I was not now married. But I am, so I keep my curiosity to myself and my computer!!!! On a separate but related matter, I think I might be a bit of a porn/sex addict and that is something that I am working on controlling anyway!

Good luck.

I completely understand what you mean. I dated guys all through my teenage years and just felt so distanced and never had those giddy excited feelings around them at all. Never wanted to get emotionally close with them or anything like that. Then... I met a girl and it changed everything. I suddenly got all those feelings that you're supposed to get when you like someone. Couldn't stop thinking about her, had uncontrollable butterflies and stuff when I saw her and thought about her etc. Now, her and I have been together for over 2 years, but not too openly... however she now wants an answer if I am gay or straight and I don't really know. All i know is that I have never felt this way about anyone before except her. She wants a label though and wants to move forward but I don't know if I can come out and tell everyone we're together if I am not fully sure this is what I want. It is a very very confusing battle... I wish it was easier... But my advice to you is if you think you might like guys... then try it out. It can't hurt. It can only hopefully help you find what makes you happy. Life is short and you deserve to be happy.

Whereas for you, athlete, you are yourself in a tough situation. What she is doing to you is what I had to my last girlfriend. I wanted her to label herself and finally just come out of the closet. I felt that it would make our relationship stronger. She ended up not doing it, and remains in the closet. I attemptted to communicate with her that I wanted a more open relationship; I was ready for commitment. && she said that the thought of commitment scared her. Unfortunately, my story doesn't have a happy ending. But you need to figure out what you've got going on. You need to think things through befor making a decision on how to handle that. Wish you the best of luck and I hope it all works out for you.

i am from a small town and when i was sixteen i had these thots but wow i couldnt bare what would have been said aboutme in highschool so i dated guys because i was sup to. i actually even fell in love with two of them. i have not dated a guy since i 2008 and was in an abusive relationship. i would try to date guys but i wouldnt sleep with them and when they started getting to close i broke it off with them. i finally decided in order for me to be happy i had to be me. It was really hard being in a relationship that you couldn't tell everyone about and that relationship didnt last long because of it. Ive recently met someone new that helped my come out to my mom. (which was who i feared telling the most) she was totally okay with it she even said she kinda figured. but i feel so much better and as for everyone else i tell if they dont like it they arent meant to be in my life anyways because i am still the same person i was before they knew. all i know if that i am very happy that i got over my fear of what ppl would think and tried it because i haven't been this happy in years! so what im getting at is it dont hurt to try it. if its for you you will be happy and if its not you will know what you want for sure. so in my eyes its a win win. good luck!

You are in a tough spot. You have a crush on your friend, and while you also value your friendship with him, you would really like it to go further. Let me tell you know - he's not the one. You are wondering about if you are gay or not. You may not be, you may be. It doesn't really matter. What matters is that you find a partner who is supportive of you. I also recommend you get a male-to-male massage and see how that makes you feel. You'll know pretty quickly if it's the touch of a man that turns you on or whether it's just your friend. I don't know if I'm "gay." I like some men, but find most a turn-off. I was married for 10 years and the sex was great, I thoroughly enjoyed doing it with her, but then she was well versed in the ways of pleasing men, so that helped, but I know I'm not straight. My wife wanted me to be happy, so she actively encouraged me to find a man who turned me on, but in the end, it was her love that turned out to be what I desired most.