Need More Support

Hi Lovee, I'm sorry your friends are going through this. I guess I can't really sugarcoat what I'm going to say. In all relationships there's going to be some ups and downs as I'm sure you've witnessed in your own with your husband. Unfortunately with gay and lesbian relationships sometimes it can be a little harder on the couple because of the stigma that surrounds them. I've been in both gay and straight relationships. I know how hard both can be. Then if you add any type of abuse on either party of the couple it becomes even harder. While you can't fix what is going on, be there to support them when and if they ask for it. Just whatever you do, don't take sides as that will probably cause more conflict. I wish the best for your friends

Hello Lovee,
Your story is very touching. I enjoyed it a lot. It's considerate of you being sad, seeing your close friend struggle with this big test in the relationship. But I'm sure you know that all relationships experience multiple tests, and getting through them is what makes them stronger. The best thing you can do is be there for them, the best you can without getting yourself too involved.

The fact tahat your husband is very supportive is a blessing for you. Most guys would not be okay with this, so be grateful that yours is. Seeing that your husband is okay with you being with a woman too, maybe you should take that opportunity, at least once, just to figure yourself out. I was closeted for many years before even telling a soul, and have been slowly working my way through this for 3 years now. The thought of being with a woman is often more more interesting and appeasing(sp?) than it really is in real life. Your friends have gotten to experience a good connection between them two. Maybe if you get to know a girl enough, and decide that you want to explore that option, you should.

However, don't sadden yourself remeniscing on your past love. I know it's hard to do, because I struggle with it myself. Just realize that there was a reason why it couldn't be, and that you're happy where you are now. Attempt to focus on your love for your husband, or developing a new love for a new woman.

Thank you for the comments of support! It means a lot to me. Please add me as a supporter if you wish. It is nice to remember there are people out there who go through similar things, no matter what the situation. Marip92 thanks for reminding me how lucky I am to have a man who supports me as a person, who's not threatened by my feelings. I really crave a deep loving relationship with another woman more than a friendship, but not necessarily as a lover if that makes sense to anyone. So the story is my friend J discovered her girlfriend K was falling in love with another girl and begged her not to leave. K stayed with J, but they were more like best friends living together than lovers, she said they hadn't made love in years. So J had found a new love when I visited, they were only in the talking stages when I visited J and K but those long phone calls that last for hours. J pushed K to recontact the girl she had loved and they still had feelings for each other, so everything seemed to be going well for both of them, they were going to have an amicable breakup once J got together with her new girl and remain friends, but it seemed to take a while for the story to unfold. I felt hurt that J had not contacted me when she first had problems in her relationship even though we live so far away, I would have been there for her. I wished J and I had long phone conversations like we used to, but since I've had more relationships with men and she with women, I feel we've grown apart as friends and I actually just shed some tears. We were best friends through her roughest relationship with a girl when we were teens and I guess I can understand why she didn't tell me what had happened with K, it must have hurt her pride, and I've been living far away and living a straight life primarily for years so I probably wasn't the first person she'd turn to. I've always guarded my love for her, she was my first girl kiss, but never more than that because I wouldn't risk losing our friendship, and I never had feelings for her like my first girl love, but I probably never will have feelings like that for anyone again, and since the greatness of the love is equal to the greatness of the heartbreak, I wouldn't want to. My relationship with my husband is just happy and amazing, best friends and lovers, I have learned to love with less intensity, to save that love for a God of my understanding, loving and unknowable. It keeps my heart safe no matter what happens. I want to stay faithful to my loving man, and I will. It makes me feel secure he accepts me for who I am.